creating a sensual self-care toolkit with afrosexology — kristen jeré
the founders, dalychia and rafaella, of the virtual and in real-life black sexual intimacy education space, afrosexology, are finding sensual self-care in everything from gut feelings and deep breathing to cinnamon rolls and roller skating.
the ethereal
rafaella
🌸 my imagination–i grew up writing a lot of songs, poetry, and erotica
🌸 fantasizing about previous experiences and future desires can be such a turn on
🌸 anything that helps me feel grounded and present in the moment
🌸 anything that opens me up to laughter, connection, and playfulness
dalychia
🌙 the gnawing voice at the bottom of my stomach that tells me “i want that”
🌙 my guiding life force that’s constantly pulling me closer towards myself and my connections, my dreams
🌙 trying to disrupt the things that are constantly
telling me no and making me feel small
🌙 tapping into my dreams, writing them down
🌙 trying to understand them more as a way of
connecting with my deeper desires
the inspiration
rafaella
🌸 josephine baker vibes, 20s/30s energy and how confident the Black femme personas were
🌸 also the playfulness of the performers, the precision. the lightness feels very erotic to me
🌸 how they owned their bodies and controlled the audience–the connection of fantasy and power
dalychia
🌙 two of my friends who are so present while we’re together.
🌙 i love how it makes me feel–
probably because i love to be worshipped
🌙 courageous people who “do it afraid”
🌙 really affectionate people. i love physical touch
🌙 nature. the sun has been out, so i’m out
the rituals
rafaella
🌸 breath play, using it to deepen and change sensation
🌸 my breath is so easy to access. it’s self-compassion and empowering
🌸 feeling the erotic difference between a heavy, deep breath v.s. a quick passed breath
🌸 pole dancing–learning different ways of holding the body and creating body trust and awareness
🌸 roller skating– the wind blowing with the mixture of heat from the workout
🌸 the way that I glide and dance with the music playing
dalychia
🌙 i love dancing and taking dance breaks
🌙 being naked in the mirror, taking the time to lotion my skin
🌙 speaking and affirming my body while i moisturize
🌙 taking a lot of erotic photos of myself,
moving towards my own adornment
🌙 indulging in my newly found sweet tooth.
i had cinnabon the other day and it was so gooey,
and warm and sweet–honestly amazing
the sensations
rafaella
🌸 soft sensations–a tease and a tickle. that “right in-between” touch
🌸 the wind blowing with the mixture of heat from the workout when i’m roller skating
🌸 my skin on the bar while pole dancing
🌸 fragrances–especially fresh laundry scents
dalychia
🌙 i love smells using either incense or a diffuser. jasmine and sandalwood are two of my favorites
🌙 different textures–feathers, soft things, things that are weighty
🌙 things that are tickly, things that vibrate
🌙 sun on my skin, water on my body
the tools
rafaella
🌸 my breath and my hands
🌸 scent sprays
🌸 sunlight and water
dalychia
🌙 fire–lots of candles, showering by candlelight
🌙 a blind fold for heightened sensation during erotic play
🌙 homemade lotion: shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, vitamin e oil and almond oil
(got it from @heyfranhey on youtube)
kristen is a budding herbalist, mentee doula, and a writer on identity, culture and Black womanhood. in her freetime, you can catch her watching something animated while reading one of the many books on her lists.
BY KRISTEN JERÉ
(she/her)
